Only Roses

by Carissa Johnson

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released May 14, 2016

Produced by Doug Batchelder and Carissa Johnson at the Den
Recorded and mixed by Doug Batchelder
Mastered by Nick Zampiello at New Alliance East



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Carissa Johnson Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: The Fool
I've been so down
I’ve got a song in my head
and it won’t come out
I’ve been dying for these pages
and pages to be full
Sometimes you don’t know
what you’ve been wishing on
I doubt you know
what you really want
I’ve been so numb
I can’t imagine what it’ll take
to begin again
That’s why I’m holding
this heavy head so low
I’ve got no clue where
the minutes went
I doubt you know what
your kisses meant to me
Sometimes I feel like I’m fading
Sometimes I feel like I’m(but you and I, we’re) making history
Fail, I have, I am, I will
Go, I know I’m aching, still
got this empty heart that’s out for blood
Here I am, I’ve held on
Got no plan to fall apart
Down for the count but down for the rise
I’ve been the fool for far too long
But words don’t fool me anymore
You say all I gotta do is believe
Then you call me crazy for believing
Hey I wanna shout
Track Name: Sinking, Flying
I didn’t get any sleep last night
but that’s not why I’m tired
I’m sick and still behind the doors
I’ve always wanted to kick down
Nobody knows that I’m here
I don’t think anyone cares
Under the lashes
Afraid of smudging the lines
No one to tell I’m crying
Get me out, get me in
I’m terrifed of sinking
I’m here
but I don’t know why
Behind the fashion
of this scene
that’s grown so nauseous
Before the clapping hands
of scripts
that feel so cautious
Get me out, get me in
I’m terried of flying
I’m here
but I don’t know why
Track Name: Only Roses
You carved your heart in my hand
ink made the blood
but the city doesn’t look the same
when you’re in it, keeping up
It’s caving in with me
and yes I’m strong, but equally as weak
and you’ve known all this time
we spent that this was
our destiny ‘cause
Time to time they come by,
habits, their cycles
are reason for secrets
though I never try to win them over
I don’t wanna win them over
I don’t have much else left to gamble
Only roses grow if you keep them
where you found them
but you and I my dear,
we’ve got places to go
I really mean them,
all the words I never said
I really mean them, every last one
They’re caving in with me
and yes I was wrong,
but equally as true
Track Name: Deleria
Phantom ring on my telephone oh how I wish it wasn’t phantom Months ago we coulda settled down I coulda marked my ground in your castle The moon’s the most imperfect thing in the sky atleast from this side of town Still it’s the only instant comfort I find it’s always gotta be around Phantom blood to my pulsing heart oh how I wish there was no mania it’s all in my head this dancing dead deleria Today will be it, today I mean it I know I’ve been a bit deceiving Today I know it, I’ve got to go it You won’t wake me when I’m dreaming (alone, even if I’m screaming) Phantom sleep in my haunted room these nights, these days, this hysteria Work to pay to get to work to pay to get away from phantom blood to my pulsing brain oh how I wish there was no mania It’s all in my heart this dancing dark deleria
Track Name: Fuel Heart
Distract me
I'm no longer in tact
I’ve got a fraction of the strength
I need to untie my tongue
I’m trying so hard to love myself
Baby when I do I’ll love someone else
I’m smiling, I’m crying
I’m living, I’m dying
I’m happy, I’m sad
One day I’ll be something else that
you can’t figure out
I’m a wreck, I’m a rock, I’m hurting
I’m only breaking on the surface
What you call a phase
have been my only days
It’s not just a fever I can sweat out
Sure with every pass around the sun
it gets easy, at least easier
Sure with every passing wave
it gets better, I’ve got a fuel heart
A fuel heart
The air is oceans, so are we
Fear calls but you don’t have to pick up
I’m trying so hard to ignore the ring
Baby if we do there’s so much to see
Track Name: Seven
Spit me out, I’ve got a lot of
tongue numbing doubt
I didn’t wanna bring around,
sing about, or write down
I have lost, I have found my way
I can’t stay any longer in your palm
I wasn’t looking for love
I wasn’t looking for love
I wasn’t looking for love!
I wasn’t looking to go backto the start
I wanted to know
what it’d be like to miss you
I cried but not for long
I didn’t even have a chance to
Seven wonders, seven sins
Rip me up like a cigarette
From outside
don’t see the deepest effects
I wasn’t looking for fights
I wasn’t looking for fights
I wasn’t looking for fights
Track Name: Wound
Inside a daze,
an endless chain reaction
When it’s not quite tomorrow
and it’s not quite today
Between the lines,
somewhere inside somehow
It feels okay
Spin in, spin out
Wound my days
I’ve only known these roads
in the nights I’ve known the rain
And I don’t know
how many falls it takes
To find my way into the day
Outside of mine
I’ve become blind somehow
The lines wound me away
I watched them fade
Although I know now lasts
longer than any time of day,
this maze
takes me and leads me away
I gotta find my way into the day
Track Name: These are the Best Days
I looked back into the sun
I saw a a flame on the verge of dying out
Gotta keep up, gotta keep my head
I can’t believe I used to call you my only friend
Tell me what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I don’t know where to go from here
I’m loving something that’s only hurting
I don’t know why they told me these are the best years
They’re such a burden
I drove on into the mess of stars
I can’t tell which one will take me home
Gotta stay up,
gotta stay awake
There’s too much to do to dwell over anything
Tell me what’s going on
I don’t know what’s going on
So long as I’m something to you
I’ll believe them when they say
These are the best years
These are the best days
Track Name: Yesterday's Ghost
Where's my luck
I've got it all at my feet
Yesterday’s ghost keeps following me
No one knows what to do with me
I didn’t do anything I set out to do today
Instead I spent my mind on you
You seem to have found it all
Beyond what we knew was ours
I’m just a tack stuck to your shoe
You don’t even know I’m here
Oh how it’s changed
since nights were short
and so were days
Oh how things change
Where’s my luck
I’ve got a house on the sand
I didn’t build it on a rock, I said I had no plans
No one knows what I’m hoping to be
I didn’t get anywhere I set out to be today
Instead I stayed and played these games
And I don’t even know what for
You seem to have found it all
Beyond what we knew was ours
I’m just a wreck pining for you
I wonder if you care that I am
Take your time, I will find you
Pick up the pieces
All these things we once tried to find their reasons
Get up and go ahead
It’s not worth your searching
Yesterday’s ghost is dead
Get up and go
Track Name: Better From Here
Create it, just play it
My working days
will never be done
Just name it, I’ll break it
I’ll tell you off
if you tell me to grow up
I’m vacant, but really I’m full
I’ve had it, but I’ll never give up
I don’t need the smoke in my mind dear
Good God have I tried to be clear
From what I know,
it gets only better from here
Just trust me, the best things
you’ll nd when you’re looking
for something else
Seek to revolt and you might restore
that little fight within yourself
From what I know,
it gets only better from here
Oh the irony, we are finally
split ends at the end of the world
and my agony, it’s a tragedy
I know damn right what I deserve
From what I know,
it gets only better from here