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Only Roses

by Carissa Johnson

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1.
The Fool 02:39
I've been so down I’ve got a song in my head and it won’t come out I’ve been dying for these pages and pages to be full Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve been wishing on I doubt you know what you really want I’ve been so numb I can’t imagine what it’ll take to begin again That’s why I’m holding this heavy head so low I’ve got no clue where the minutes went I doubt you know what your kisses meant to me Sometimes I feel like I’m fading Sometimes I feel like I’m(but you and I, we’re) making history Fail, I have, I am, I will Go, I know I’m aching, still got this empty heart that’s out for blood Here I am, I’ve held on Got no plan to fall apart Down for the count but down for the rise I’ve been the fool for far too long But words don’t fool me anymore You say all I gotta do is believe Then you call me crazy for believing Hey I wanna shout
2.
I didn’t get any sleep last night but that’s not why I’m tired I’m sick and still behind the doors I’ve always wanted to kick down Nobody knows that I’m here I don’t think anyone cares Under the lashes Afraid of smudging the lines No one to tell I’m crying Get me out, get me in I’m terrifed of sinking I’m here but I don’t know why Behind the fashion of this scene that’s grown so nauseous Before the clapping hands of scripts that feel so cautious Get me out, get me in I’m terried of flying I’m here but I don’t know why
3.
Only Roses 03:23
You carved your heart in my hand ink made the blood but the city doesn’t look the same when you’re in it, keeping up It’s caving in with me and yes I’m strong, but equally as weak and you’ve known all this time we spent that this was our destiny ‘cause Time to time they come by, habits, their cycles are reason for secrets though I never try to win them over I don’t wanna win them over I don’t have much else left to gamble Only roses grow if you keep them where you found them but you and I my dear, we’ve got places to go I really mean them, all the words I never said I really mean them, every last one They’re caving in with me and yes I was wrong, but equally as true
4.
Deleria 02:47
Phantom ring on my telephone oh how I wish it wasn’t phantom Months ago we coulda settled down I coulda marked my ground in your castle The moon’s the most imperfect thing in the sky atleast from this side of town Still it’s the only instant comfort I find it’s always gotta be around Phantom blood to my pulsing heart oh how I wish there was no mania it’s all in my head this dancing dead deleria Today will be it, today I mean it I know I’ve been a bit deceiving Today I know it, I’ve got to go it You won’t wake me when I’m dreaming (alone, even if I’m screaming) Phantom sleep in my haunted room these nights, these days, this hysteria Work to pay to get to work to pay to get away from phantom blood to my pulsing brain oh how I wish there was no mania It’s all in my heart this dancing dark deleria
5.
Fuel Heart 03:34
Distract me I'm no longer in tact I’ve got a fraction of the strength I need to untie my tongue I’m trying so hard to love myself Baby when I do I’ll love someone else I’m smiling, I’m crying I’m living, I’m dying I’m happy, I’m sad One day I’ll be something else that you can’t figure out I’m a wreck, I’m a rock, I’m hurting I’m only breaking on the surface What you call a phase have been my only days It’s not just a fever I can sweat out Sure with every pass around the sun it gets easy, at least easier Sure with every passing wave it gets better, I’ve got a fuel heart A fuel heart The air is oceans, so are we Fear calls but you don’t have to pick up I’m trying so hard to ignore the ring Baby if we do there’s so much to see
6.
7.
Seven 02:29
5,6,7,7! Spit me out, I’ve got a lot of tongue numbing doubt I didn’t wanna bring around, sing about, or write down I have lost, I have found my way I can’t stay any longer in your palm I wasn’t looking for love I wasn’t looking for love I wasn’t looking for love! I wasn’t looking to go backto the start I wanted to know what it’d be like to miss you I cried but not for long I didn’t even have a chance to Seven wonders, seven sins Rip me up like a cigarette From outside don’t see the deepest effects I wasn’t looking for fights I wasn’t looking for fights I wasn’t looking for fights
8.
Wound 03:05
Inside a daze, an endless chain reaction When it’s not quite tomorrow and it’s not quite today Between the lines, somewhere inside somehow It feels okay Spin in, spin out Wound my days I’ve only known these roads in the nights I’ve known the rain And I don’t know how many falls it takes To find my way into the day Outside of mine I’ve become blind somehow The lines wound me away I watched them fade Although I know now lasts longer than any time of day, this maze takes me and leads me away I gotta find my way into the day
9.
I looked back into the sun I saw a a flame on the verge of dying out Gotta keep up, gotta keep my head I can’t believe I used to call you my only friend Tell me what’s going on Tell me what’s going on I don’t know where to go from here I’m loving something that’s only hurting I don’t know why they told me these are the best years They’re such a burden I drove on into the mess of stars I can’t tell which one will take me home Gotta stay up, gotta stay awake There’s too much to do to dwell over anything Tell me what’s going on I don’t know what’s going on So long as I’m something to you I’ll believe them when they say These are the best years These are the best days
10.
Where's my luck I've got it all at my feet Yesterday’s ghost keeps following me No one knows what to do with me I didn’t do anything I set out to do today Instead I spent my mind on you You seem to have found it all Beyond what we knew was ours I’m just a tack stuck to your shoe You don’t even know I’m here Oh how it’s changed since nights were short and so were days Oh how things change Where’s my luck I’ve got a house on the sand I didn’t build it on a rock, I said I had no plans No one knows what I’m hoping to be I didn’t get anywhere I set out to be today Instead I stayed and played these games And I don’t even know what for You seem to have found it all Beyond what we knew was ours I’m just a wreck pining for you I wonder if you care that I am Take your time, I will find you Pick up the pieces All these things we once tried to find their reasons Get up and go ahead It’s not worth your searching Yesterday’s ghost is dead Get up and go
11.
Create it, just play it My working days will never be done Just name it, I’ll break it I’ll tell you off if you tell me to grow up I’m vacant, but really I’m full I’ve had it, but I’ll never give up I don’t need the smoke in my mind dear Good God have I tried to be clear From what I know, it gets only better from here Just trust me, the best things you’ll nd when you’re looking for something else Seek to revolt and you might restore that little fight within yourself From what I know, it gets only better from here Oh the irony, we are finally split ends at the end of the world and my agony, it’s a tragedy I know damn right what I deserve From what I know, it gets only better from here

credits

released May 14, 2016

Produced by Doug Batchelder and Carissa Johnson at the Den
Recorded and mixed by Doug Batchelder
Mastered by Nick Zampiello at New Alliance East

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Carissa Johnson Boston, Massachusetts

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